“She’s like smoke. You think you’re seeing her clearly enough, but when you reach for her there’s nothing there.”
—Ryu Murakami
August 2011
“twice in one week
i have been referred to
as emotionally cold
twice this month
i’ve been referred to
as manipulative
once someone told me
they were tired of
managing me and my
emotions
one man said that
i humiliate myself publicly
and need self respect
another man said i was
morbid
because of my taste in movies
one man tells me he loves me
and another says he
did love me and
always will but
not as much as her
all i can think of
is that i want you all
to be quiet
very quiet
quiet as death
so i can think about
myself
without your cries
and wails and fits
of interpretation
the most comforting thing
anyone has ever said
in regard to me
was that i
am just a person
living my life
but he was
a bastard” —
i have been referred to
as emotionally cold
twice this month
i’ve been referred to
as manipulative
once someone told me
they were tired of
managing me and my
emotions
one man said that
i humiliate myself publicly
and need self respect
another man said i was
morbid
because of my taste in movies
one man tells me he loves me
and another says he
did love me and
always will but
not as much as her
all i can think of
is that i want you all
to be quiet
very quiet
quiet as death
so i can think about
myself
without your cries
and wails and fits
of interpretation
the most comforting thing
anyone has ever said
in regard to me
was that i
am just a person
living my life
but he was
a bastard” —
Kendra Grant Malone, “quiet as death”
Relevant.
“When I like people immensely I never tell their names to anyone. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvelous to us. The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town now I never tell my people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It is a silly habit, I daresay, but somehow it seems to bring a great deal of romance into one’s life.”
—Oscar Wilde
